I have a serious obsession with a terrific place called Target.
I know that mine and Target’s relationship is toxic. Target drains me from all of my money, and convinces me through its miraculous marketing to purchase plenty of things that I neither need or, oftentimes, even know how to use. Every time I shop at Target, I write a short list, trying to show the store that I have complete control, and am only going to pay it a quick visit. I will walk out with strictly the necessary items, and nothing more.
Yet the minute that I see its bright lights and welcoming floor spread, I am instantly hooked. I end up with enough food to feed a football team. I purchase items that I “need” immediately, like mascara or gum, when in reality, I already have several stowed away for safe keeping.
I sometimes end up with items that I’m certain will be successful, and end up failing miserably. Like the time I purchased “fast-acting self tanner” made for “tan skin tones” at Target in the dead of winter, and ended up with skin that looked like a Tiger and hands that looked like a leopard, only in both cases, the black stripes were replaced by white.
The most embarrassing are the times that Target cleverly convinces me to buy the item without even reading the label. This is how I ended up with a Maternity tank top, and a large laundry detergent strictly for high-efficiency machines. Let’s just say that I don’t have use for either of those.
You know that you’re in it for the long hall when you recognize when there are new workers, know the food sample schedule by heart, and would bet your income that you could win a Price is Right contest on any food item from the store.
Do you like shopping at Target? Do you spend too much time at any store?