I’ve probably lost more items than the amount of clothes the Kardashians own. I’ve also gotten lost more times than Kim has vowed that her feelings for Kris were “real.”
(I’ve also clearly lost track of keeping up with this blog, but let’s just pretend that didn’t happen).
There are a few things that commonly occur whenever I misplace an item.
1.) I panic.
2.) I search frantically in the same spot for several seconds, and then make that small spot look like it got hit by a tsunmai, or, at the very least, some serious turbulence.
3.) In my frantic search, I lose other items in the process.
4.) Repeat step 1.
5.) I begin talking myself through finding the item, which then recruits whoever happens to be nearby to join in my search–possibly because I sound slightly crazy uttering things like “Where did I put that?!” or “Seriously, I JUST had it!” [Yes, this sometimes ends up being a stranger assisting me].
6.) The assistant finds my item either A.) Right in front of me or B.) In my hand.
There are several embarrassing situations where I’ve lost something. I’ve “lost” my keys in my own hand more times than I can count. I’ve “lost” my keys when they are actually in my car (with me sitting in it).
Yesterday, I thought I lost my Teacher’s Edition textbook. I brought the large, orange book into my 3rd period class. My class saw me sit it down while I went into another room where I accidentally left my swords and shields.
[A sidenote: Those are for Romeo and Juliet, and they are critical. Even though they may have caused a student to cry a little bit, and their teacher to decide that there was no way her students would get to fight without her joining].
Anyway, when I came back, my book was gone. I swore I still had it in class. My entire class started a search party, and some were even sweet enough to volunteer to contribute some money to pay for the missing book (!). We turned into a 23-person search party (22 14-and-15 year olds and their teacher).
You know who was the weakest link.
I mentioned it to a few students in my 6th hour, and then the search party began again. They know me well enough to know my track record for losing items so, like a mother would do to their child, they asked me questions like: “Ms. Looney, are you SURE you didn’t bring it back to your office?” “Ms. Looney, are you SURE you looked everywhere?” “Ms. Looney, are you SURE you didn’t let someone borrow it?”
“I’m positive!” I replied to every question. I went through the day, assured that I would be several hundred dollars deep to pay for my book.
Where did the item turn up? In my office. My pupils/pseudo parents will clearly give me a big “I told you so!”
Do you lose things easily?