I love food alot. I’m ready for breakfast the minute I rise. I think it’s instantly time to grocery shop when there is a single spec of space in my cabinet. Bare fridges make me slightly frantic. I never, ever miss a meal.
Whenever I attend any party or celebration, my first thought is not what I should wear or who else would be there. I first think of the food. My favorite situation? Buffet style. When I see a buffet, I’m even more excited than when Carrie Bradshaw sees a shoe sale. And, like Carrie, my thoughts of reasonable “spending”–although in my case, it’s calories, not credit cards–go completely out the window.
I have a confession: At parties with buffets, I sometimes make separate trips to the “bathroom” when really I’m sneaking some more snacks. This is usually when I’m really feeling a third or fourth plate when everyone else is on their first. I am an extremely fast eater, which comes in handy because I can usually pretend I’m on pace with everyone else when really I’ve consumed at least double their calories.
Although I love buffet style food, I don’t necessarily love all buffets. There is a huge gap between buffets. Some buffets are great. My favorite of all-time is one that my family used to go to every Easter. They had every food imaginable, and also a spread of desserts that’s equivalent to the lengths of the lines on Black Friday. I ate almost an entire cake there one time. That is the only time I almost missed dinner.
However, some buffets are really bad. The worst I’ve experienced was when I was in Washington D.C. in 8th grade. I excitedly piled my (two) plates full of anything I could fit, including what I thought looked like a delicious piece of roast that was probably at least 36 ounces. I eagerly brought the roast back to my table and, unfortunately, didn’t look before I ate. The entire piece ended up being an entire chunk of fat that was now stuck in my throat.
I almost gave up meat after that, which, if you know me, would be like if you asked the Pillsbury Dough boy to give up laughing.
Do you like buffets?