Things I can’t do

As soon as I came home from work today, I reached in the cabinet to grab a glass for water—a daily thing. However, today, I was particularly parched. My overeagerness caused me to drop another glass, which shattered in a few large pieces (and a million miniscule ones).This is something that would not mean much for most. For one, we have a million other glasses. Breaking one is no big deal.

However, most people also know how to clean up glass and stop bleeding.

I tried to pick up the pieces by hand. Poor choice. I tried to wipe up the pieces on the ground with a Clorox wipe. An even poorer choice. A little piece of glass ended up getting caught in my foot and caused it to bleed alot.

I didn’t know what to do to stop the bleeding, since I am completely clueless when it comes to sickness or any ailments. I have zero bandaids or gauze, and the only medicine that I have (minus Ibuprofen) is at minimum 6 months expired.

What did I do? I hobbled around while my foot bled, and called my roommate Jenn for a cure.

There are many “normal” things (like knowing how to clean up your own cut) that I should know how to do, but don’t. You know this already (after all, the title of this blog is ironic in my case). Here are a few practical things that I should know how to do, but beyond don’t:

1.) I do not know anything related to tires. You already know I’m a horrible parker and directionally challenged. However, I’m even more awful when it comes to mechanics. I have a wooden pole that has been in the backseat of my car for months (maybe even years). I thought that this was somehow left over from someone who was in my car, as maybe a pseudo baseball bat. It is apparently to check tire pressure. The only thing I know about tires is that my car has 4 of them, that, when they go flat, you call AAA.

2.) I do not know how to tell tools apart. After 23 years of practice, I now know how to tell the difference between a Phillips and a Flathead screwdriver. The fact that I had no clue about this is concerning since a flathead, well, is flat.

3.) I do not know how to clean up a cut (besides using a bandaid). I’ve had many instances (such as today) where this is an issue. The one I remember most? When I was a Day Camp Counselor, a 6-year old girl named Jade asked me to pull out her tooth. I didn’t even contemplate this, and yanked it out with a paper towel on the spot. Jade began bleeding excessively from her mouth, and bawling even more. I took at least 50 paper towels out of the dispenser, and tried to console the crier. The bleeding didn’t stop until hours later, and the crying lasted even longer.

4.) Clearly, I also don’t know how to use common sense when it comes to practical skills.

Are there any practical things that you don’t know how to do? Do you have any suggestions to how I can actually learn how to become skilled at life?


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