No, not parallel parking. I mean the parking that requires you to be in between the two straight yellow lines. I honestly cannot achieve this. This may be excusable if I wore glasses, but my vision is pretty close to perfect [Actually, my left eye is weaker than my right. The eye doctor wanted me to wear a pirate patch to correct this. I already look like a pirate when I smile, since I am completely unable of keeping both eyes open. I’d prefer not to make the resemblance really ridiculous.]
I approach parking spots with extreme focus. I intensely eye the yellow lines, and then lock my door feeling confident that I have finally figured out how to get my car to fit. I get out of the car, and realize that I am actually half-way between two spots, and, also, oddly on a complete diagonal.
I’ve never been spatially savvy. I remember the first time my dad took me driving on a “real” road. There were bushes and trees lining the righthand side of the road. I was driving along, and suddenly started to see little leaves coming up near my car and, shortly after, some branches. I thought that this was maybe because it was a little windy. My dad, clearly, knew otherwise. He continued to say “Stay in your lane! Stay in your lane!” I thought that this meant I needed to get farther over to the right.
As I moved over farther over to the right, the scene became a bit like The Wizard of Oz. There were bits of branches flying everywhere, and leaves were coming into the middle of the road. I had made my car a miniature lawn mower and was destroying all of the road debris.
Lately, I’m realizing that it’s about time to get some spatial skills. However, I have no idea how to do this. Do I ask my friends to practice parking with me? Do I retake Driver’s Ed?
[A Side Note: I have actually never gotten a ticket or been in an accident.]