Parking Panic

You know by now that my driving skills (and decisions) are far from stellar. However, there is one area of driving where I’m even more dense than directions.


No, not parallel parking. I mean the parking that requires you to be in between the two straight yellow lines. I honestly cannot achieve this. This may be excusable if I wore glasses, but my vision is pretty close to perfect [Actually, my left eye is weaker than my right. The eye doctor wanted me to wear a pirate patch to correct this. I already look like a pirate when I smile, since I am completely unable of keeping both eyes open. I’d prefer not to make the resemblance really ridiculous.]

I approach parking spots with extreme focus. I intensely eye the yellow lines, and then lock my door feeling confident that I have finally figured out how to get my car to fit. I get out of the car, and realize that I am actually half-way between two spots, and, also, oddly on a complete diagonal.

I’ve never been spatially savvy. I remember the first time my dad took me driving on a “real” road. There were bushes and trees lining the righthand side of the road. I was driving along, and suddenly started to see little leaves coming up near my car and, shortly after, some branches. I thought that this was maybe because it was a little windy. My dad, clearly, knew otherwise. He continued to say “Stay in your lane! Stay in your lane!” I thought that this meant I needed to get farther over to the right.

As I moved over farther over to the right, the scene became a bit like The Wizard of Oz. There were bits of branches flying everywhere, and leaves were coming into the middle of the road. I had made my car a miniature lawn mower and was destroying all of the road debris.

Lately, I’m realizing that it’s about time to get some spatial skills. However, I have no idea how to do this. Do I ask my friends to practice parking with me? Do I retake Driver’s Ed?

[A Side Note: I have actually never gotten a ticket or been in an accident.]


3 thoughts on “Parking Panic

  1. hilarious… I’m sure dad remembers this like it was yesterday! I bet his left huge, sweaty hand prints on the dashboard! Maybe you just have to practice in a big empty parking lot…after hours!

  2. Pingback: Never Have I Ever « It's as Easy as 1-2-3

  3. Pingback: Full House Flashback « It's as Easy as 1-2-3

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