Opening Jars (and other Impossibilities)

I have a jar of Peppadew peppers that have been pleading with me to eat them for the past week. Unfortunately, the bright, shiny, deliciously spicy Peppadews will not make their way into my stomach.

Why? I cannot open the jar.

I actually cannot open any jar. Or wine bottle. Even shampoo bottles sometimes get me stuck. The power to open anything prevents me from making purchases. If I do decide to cave, my teeth experience the trauma of biting through plastic wrap that is both unsanitary and certainly not something to share at your next dentist appointment.

As I’ve shared before, I have a list of things that I am unable to do.  Which keeps getting longer. Here are a few more things to add to my embarrassing array of inabilities:

  • I do not know how to get the gas pump to lock when I fill up gas. This is quite a dilemma in the winter. Rather than waiting in a cozy car, I freeze outside. I have to manually put the gas in the tank and plead for the amount of gallons to go up so I can finally sit in the car and attempt to relive my frostbite. [A sidenote: The first time I ever tried to fill up the gas tank, I thought that you had to press the button in to put the pump back in its place. I gave my dad and I a Zoolander style gasoline shower.]
  • The previously mentioned inability could be confusing, because I actually am not sure of any of the terminology related to my gas tank. Or, actually, anything related to my car.
  • I am unable to make it anywhere without using Mapquest. I literally have to find directions to friend’s houses, even if I’ve been there fifteen times.

What are some things that are supposed to be simple that you can’t do?

 

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One thought on “Opening Jars (and other Impossibilities)

  1. Pingback: Disasters in Corking « It's as Easy as 1-2-3

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