Where in the World is…Anywhere?

I am the proud owner of a map of the Amana Colonies from Casey’s General Store. How did I end up with such an odd artifact? I was lost.

I have probably uttered the words “I was lost” well over 1,000 times in my life. I leave myself an extra 15 minutes when going anywhere, regardless if the mystfying Mapquest tells me that it will take 5 minutes.

The odd thing? I try so hard to be good at directions. I don’t text or talk on the phone when I drive. I keep my eyes peeled for any landmarks or road signs that will potentially (read: certainly) help me out in the future. I quiz myself on Mapquest in hopes that I’ll remember the way (if only the directions detailed someone’s birthday).

Yet regardless, I end up in the same place: Making small talk to a gas station attendant, stuck in a place which only contains cows and cornfields, or, even worse, going the wrong direction on a one-way street. Here are three of my most directionally dense decisions:

1.) I once got lost in Evergreen Park, where I have lived my entire life until college. This town also spans only a few square miles [Note: I actually have no idea what a square mile means, but I know my town is very small and I feel directionally savvy using the term ‘square mile’]. I went to Pappy’s to eat, and ended up stuck in a cul-de-sac and had no idea how to get out. I made circles around Circle Park and debated frantically calling someone to come find me, which would have taken anyone from any area of Evergreen, less than 5 minutes to do so.

2.) I had a date in Downtown Des Moines, and ended up 45 minutes late. All the one-way streets completely threw me off, and, this time, I decided it was worth a call (perhaps because I no longer had to pay for a prepaid phone?) to my friend Kathy. [A sidenote: I had previously visited Downtown Des Moines at least 45 times, and, for any non-Iowan readers, Downtown Des Moines does not = Downtown Chicago]. My date was forgiving after a few drinks, and, somehow, someway, there was a second one.

3.) I had classes at Moraine Valley, which, like the other two instances, I had visited numerous times in the past. It is usually a 15 minute drive home. I somehow took a wrong turn and ended up going through plenty of sketchy areas, then a Forest Preserve, the highway, and, finally a private golf course in Lemont (which is nowhere near my house). This detour lasted approximately 1.5 hours.

Are you street savvy, or directionally dense?


3 thoughts on “Where in the World is…Anywhere?

  1. Haha oh Kristin, I love that you wrote about this. I think it’s safe to say that I can join you in calling myself “directionally dense.”

    I also try my hardest to be good at directions but somehow I always make a wrong turn, or miss the turn completely, and don’t realize my mistake until I’m an hour out of my way (or occasionally in the wrong state!). I think I need to start keeping tabs on how long of a distance I need to go before the next turn!

  2. Mike! I love that you relate! It still cracks me up that you and Emma landed in INDIANA…and that the visitor ended up being the one to navigate! Remember this summer when we did laps on the Dan Ryan trying to make it to Veronika’s wedding?

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