My love for shorts is far too significant. I wear them to bed every single night, every season. I wear them regardless of whether the the weather man puts on a winter advisory. If the sun is shining, I can assure you I’ve deliberated Daisy Dukes.
The slight problem to my shorts obsession? I have arms as long as an ape. The only way I can get my shorts to reach the “proper” finger-tip length is by wearing basketball shorts (which I definitely do). Now, it’s not a huge issue—college students can wear short shorts if they so choose. However, when I was in Junior High it was a huge problem.
I was actually nearly suspended for wearing shorts. Mind you, I was threatened this by Nurse Stersky, who thought that wearing baseball hats in a gym was as bad as wearing gang symbols all over your attire. Still, though, it was pretty serious. I had to wear a Men’s XXL t-shirt all day, and then promptly went to Old Navy to buy shorts from the women’s department to still wear my precious shorts.
Why do I share this story now? Because, apparently short shorts are no longer the school suspension threat they once were. During my practicum yesterday, there was one high school student that had shorts—I kid you not—shorter than some of my underwear. You could see her cheeks. Unfortunately, the girl also loved strutting her stuff and got up every single moment she possibly could.
It was like watching a car accident. I couldn’t help but stare. Even though I desperately wanted to channel Nurse Stersky.