Clueless Cleaning

[Warning: Some may find this post disgusting.]

I had an awesome run today. It was 75 degrees, sunny and I felt great. Five minutes later, that last element was definitely eliminated.

I was stretching on my apartment’s lawn when suddenly, I smelled something terrible. I looked down, and saw perhaps the most disgusting sight that I have seen close-up: Runny dog poo allll over the heel of my precious running shoe. After uttering a zillion high-pitched ‘Ews!’ I carefully slipped off my smelly shoe and walked with one shoe on, one shoe off up my apartment stairs.

And then I realized I hadn’t the slightest idea what to do next.

I grabbed the Clorox wipes, Paper towels, water, and Febreeze (aka, the only cleaning products I indefinitely know how to use) and rushed out to our balcony. After a few minutes of scrubbing (and about a zillion more ‘Ews!’) I realized that the stain was stuck. My roommate Kathy, who also just happens to have cleaning skills on par with French maids, was there to assist me. Unfortunately, she may know how to make a bathroom sparkle and shine, but she doesn’t have the same skills for shit.

I faced a dilemma: Do I 1.) Let the shoes soak, and hope that the shoes will eventually self-clean or 2.) Run with the shoes as is, and hope that the pavement will eventually pay it forward or 3.) Throw the shoes away?

Can you guess what I chose?

Yep, option 3. I quickly trashed the smelly shoes, and then headed to Sports Authority for another pair. I know: I don’t really have much of that lovely little thing called money. Unfortunately, my lack of cleaning skills made this an easy decision. Luckily, I was going to get new shoes soon anyway. But even if they were brand-new, I’m sure my decision would be the same.

As soon as I ditched my shoes, I said sayonara to our lovely lawn. I’d prefer to stretch in my apartment still sweaty than to spend my savings on another ridiculously overpriced pair of running shoes.

I really need to learn how to clean.


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